A Green and Juicy Crone

I feel that I have a new goal, thanks to JSB. What is my version of a green and juicy crone? Well that's what this blog is about. Will I bring in more Artemis or Diana, the goddess of the hunt. She was alive in me as a little girl when I climbed trees, ran with a tribe of kids playing horses, dared to walk the white picket fence next door. I can remember one old apple tree in particular, out in a field that looms large in my childhood memories. The field was behind the houses across the street and stretched for at least a quarter of a mile in all directions. My mother taught me how to mark our secret wild asparagus patches by sighting a tree in one direction and maybe the How's house 90 degrees away. Anyway in this beloved old apple tree, there was a branch that was bouncy and another one to hang on above it. I can remember how much fun and how daring that seemed to bounce and bounce. By myself or with a friend. When did that part of me get lost? When a stranger grabbed my breast as I was walking to through a suburban neighborhood to the swimming pool? I was quite proud of those new breasts and probably strutting right along only to be accosted in broad daylight. What did I do? Keep right on walking and pretend it didn't happen like a good 50's girl. Was it lost when I became a sexual being and brought in other Goddess's attributes? How will I bring her back in? Adventure travel? Defense of the vulnerable? Artemis, alone of the major goddesses, was granted autonomy by her father Zeus and would never be violated or overpowered by male power. Whew, wouldn't that have been nice? She also defended those violated and vulnerable, just as I regret on occasion not doing as a mother. I just wrote about that this morning in a list of things I regretted doing, in answer to one of Jean Shinoda Bolen's questions to help me align with my life's purpose. The question is What do I regret doing or not doing? What about you? What do you regret doing or not doing?

So far....

I've done it! Started the blog I've been thinking about! My cancer journey started with a diagnosis of Stage 2 HER2 positive breast cancer in September 2008. My surgery and chemotherapy led me through the gates of hell and by the end I felt like I was dead, hanging on a meat hook, just like Inanna the Sumerian goddess. Like Inanna, before my descent, I had all the trappings of a successful life: home, great career, the protection of a man. All the emblems of success in the patriarchy. Each appointment, each surgery, each trip to the hospital for chemotherapy was equivalent to passing through another gate to hell. In addition, the economy did a nosedive and the wealth I had been counting on for retirement was decimated. By the time I got there I was also like her sister Erishkegal, moaning in pain. My friends supplied me with an unbelievable amount of support and empathy, just like the flies in the mythological story. After a time (3 days in the myth) I came back to life and am now on my way up the stairs from hell back to the outer world. Older and much wiser I hope. More soon.